Erection Day

- I got Pinkerton in the mail today. I brought the box inside and it looked a little haggard so I was getting a little worried that the record was damaged in transport. And guess what, it fucking was, it was like a vinyl taco. Anyways, they said they would replace it, those boner heads, it's still a shame that it's ruined. Don't buy from www.caiman.com off of Amazon.

- Brother John recorded a new song the other day that I've been waiting for him to record for a long while. It's called Crash Landing and it's on the Chalk Dino myspace so check it out. It's really dark and has a lot of melodic guitar riffage, it's really nice, give it a good listen.

- Joe Sanderson's band Unreal City is coming out with a record, Ephemeral Subsistence, on November 25th on Double or Nothing Records. I thought it was being released on vinyl and as a digital download, but I'm seeing CD's when I Google it so who knows. I'll have to ask Joe. The artwork they got done is off the hinges, it was done by the guy who did artwork for Integrity. I can't wait to see it printed on a gatefold LP. They are going on a tour down the east coast and back up starting in November. Check out some streaming audio on the myspace linked above and from the Double or Nothing website here.

Clarendon Bars

I think I was getting sick two weekends ago, and my friend Danlee had a terrible night that Friday so neither of us really felt like partying too much that Saturday. We hung for a while and drank a couple whirlwinds, but that got old pretty quick so we decided to walk over to Clarendon and check out some bars that everyone in the entire world doesn't go to. There were a couple bars/venues that I wanted to check out.

The first bar that was stopped at was called IOTA Club and Cafe. This place was neat, they had food but I didn't eat any, maybe will update if I do. It is basically divided into thirds. The right two thirds are the stage and standing room. On the left hand third there are tables and sitting room at the bar. The cool part is that the bar connects the two rooms, so if you don't feel like having your ears blasted off, you can sit at a table or at the bar and still listen to the music, and if you want to be in the crowd and drink, then no problems. Draft beer selection, not great. Yuengling though. The inside is really dark, with not much sitting room at the bar, but a reasonable amount of tables for the taking.

Second and last actually, GALAXY HUT. This place rules, not somewhere I would go all the time, but they have a great bottled and draft beer selection. I got a damn Gordon bro! They basically have just a bunch of good beers, and not much else, Pabst and like miller for 3 bucks I guess. First place I've been that has Oskar Blues stuff though. It's a decent atmosphere too, pretty different, they have a patio and they have live music every Sunday and Monday night. It's enough that they have good beer and a patio, I like this place a lot.

These places are nice, I still need a place that has darts and a good jukebox though, although I went to a bar in Dupont Circle (Buffalo Billiards) that had nice REAL darts and lots of pool tables. Not quite my kind of place though, it was really huge and not cheap at all. Anyways, this isn't really relevant unless you live here I guess, which i'm sure no one who reads this does. If you are in Arlington though and want a Gordon you know where we'll be going.

This Weekend

I had an excellent weekend. BGBK, Joe S., and John bro were here because my friend Eric had a Muay Thai fight on Saturday night. Lots of good hang time, and we discussed some very important topics.

1. The Apocalypse: When this happens, and it will, we will be be starting from scratch. First things first, the group needs to have a good sexual cadence. I'm not sure if cadence works there, but I like it there, and the point is that we can't have any more dudes than women or the other way around. Consensus was that things would get weird if we didn't have a creamy sexual balance. If there weren't enough women someone would get jealous, or women would have too much vagina power over the men. Ultimately, someone would die.

We're going to grow pot, because seriously bro, it's not going to matter. It's the apocalypse. It's not like I need a job, or to make sense when I speak words all the time. The only problem comes if we start eating too much, which I don't think will happen as we should have an abundance of corn, and I love corn. I agree with Joe when he says, "It's my favorite cobbed vegetable."

Joe is making the decisions, he's good at war and presumably post apocalyptic survival strategy. He knows and cares. Our main worries will be other roaming groups of survivors and bears/dolphins coming onto land. Although if we come upon a grizzly cub we will tame and ride it.

There is more , but you get it, and you're not invited.

2. Manatees: Discussing the marketing and production of manatee milk and meat, you know, cows of the sea. Also whether or not, if you were to eat one, it has red or white meat. Either way, fried manatee nipple fritters would be delectable.

3. Would you have had sex with Paul Newman in his strapping younger days, not that he didn't always look good. Consensus: It depends.

4. We went to Eric's muay thai fight this weekend outside of Baltimore, and it was nutso. Eric won decisively, and we got to watch an MMA fight and a padless muay thai fight at the end (gloves and nothing else). Much more exciting than I thought it would be, some guy got kicked right in the head and was out cold. THAT REALLY HAPPENS!!! That was fun.

Anyways, it was a wonderful weekend, it's always great to see some friends and family, especially Brian, Joe, and John.

God there were like 50000 grammatical errors in this post.

Catching Up

I got paid, and have blown a lot of cash as of late on records, but haven't posted anything about them. These are the new additions to the collection that I can remember right now.

1. The Wanktones - Have a Ball Y'all : This was used and I couldn't resist. Not quite up my alley at all as far as the music is concerned, but the name made the purchase irresistible. I learned a little bit about them, they are a DC band from the late 70's on through the 80's, actually called the Slickee Boys. The Wanktones are "...the Rockabilly alter-ego side project..." Maybe I will turn around after a few more listens.

2. Elton John - Tumbleweed Connection: OK, just liked the looks of it at CD cellar.

3. Traffic - John Barleycorn Must Die : For obvious reasons, the history of Johnny Barleycorn interests me somewhat. Or it keeps popping up. Twas introduced to me by Frank Black.

4. Johnny Cash - I walk the line : Classic, just wanted to have it.

5. Built to Spill - Keep it Like A Secret : This album is so good, also a classic, and it was out of print and is back on vinyl. Wonderful.

6. Black Star : Another classic that I had to own, and realized I should probably have it at this point. I never realized how rad the cover of the album is.


Other Stuff:



Margot and the Nuclear So and Sos also just released two new albums, Animal! and Not Animal, on vinyl as well as on CD and digitally, so I ordered those two. Not Animal was released on CD and Vinyl, and Animal on only Vinyl and digitally. I have high hopes, because The Daytrotter EP and Dust of Retreat are wonderful. The only bad news is that I ordered them to 4634 Filmore. Dick.

Also, last time I was in Pittsburgh, my brother John turned me onto Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin who are really good. They have 2 albums, Broom and Pershing, and a couple of 7"s. Broom they recorded themselves and is in my opinion a much better album. Pershing is still good but kind of turns me off because some of it is a tad cheesy. Either way, it's good music I like it a lot, check it out if you want.

Cracktoberfest

One of my bosses is going to an event called biketoberfest, which I think is a stretch, but me and nicole were just discussing other blanktoberfests. 12 minutes left of work, here goes:

People would still presumably drink beer at all of these fests.

The obvious Cocktoberfest: Whatever, the obvious choice. I guess this is either people just with their cocks out drinking beer, or something like a cock themed bachelorette party Something. Anyways, it probably looks something like this.



Socktoberfest would likely be almost the exact same as Oktoberfest, becuase people even wear big socks there. Although, people would be able to embrace whichever style of sock they desired. Pants and shoes are optional for maximum sock visibility. It's just all about socks bro.

Cracktoberfest probably goes through as much beer as Oktoberfest, and an equal amount of crack by volume. Presumably this takes place in a damp dark corner somewhere in gotham city. It's got a real ring to it.

Fundraiser Ideas

Update: Shit was also on SNL

I feel like as long as you are doing something for a good cause you can pretty much just do whatever you want and people will get behind it.

If I wanted to raise money I could probably raise money for autism by walking naked from coast to coast surviving on a diet of dried shrimp and toothpaste. I could raise money to promote environmental awareness by holding a competition to see who could carry the most different animals on their body (If one eats or kills another one while on your body, then that counts as two, no initially dead animals allowed). I could raise money for breast cancer by treading water in a pool of milk.

This dude made a canoe out of a giant pumpkin and is paddling it 150 miles to raise money for underpriveliged children. That is so fucking wierd. Buy hey, it's for a good cause.

A Weekend to be Bromembered

The weekend of the 20th/21st my good brothers John and Mike came to visit me in DC, along with one of my oldest and most trusted brossociates, Will. It's so good to see people I know let alone two of my brothers and one of my best friends.

On Friday we went out in Clarendon, to Clarendon Grill and briefly to Clarendon Ballroom. I'm a giant idiot when I get drunk so I payed for all of our drinks on Friday night, which came to a who-opping total of 200 dollars! HOLY BEANS! Things are kind of fuzzy about Friday, but since I'm convinced the only two shots that Mike knows are Washington Apples and Jager Bombs, we ended up drinking Jager Bombs all night. After getting pretty saucy, we tried to get to the strip club, and the cab driver took us to a CLOSED strip club. Mike was not happy about this and started getting all up in his face and saying, "YOU BURN!" So good. Then Will and Mike peed in a bike seat tube, and we were all singing while John played the guitar outside of my apartment. That's about what all happened on Friday.

On Saturday afternoon we got up and my friends Nicole and Blair walked into a brodeo that they didn't see coming. They met my brothers and will, and hung out for a while, so that was nice to have some female company for a minute. We went down to the mall, and threw a disc around for a while, ate some good old fashioned dogs, and visited the air and space museum. There was beautiful weather all afternoon, and because of the dogs and the disc we needed a nap so we put on the pat garret and billy the kid soundtrack and slept for an hour in preparation for another night on the town. Nicole (left), Blair(right), Lila, and Kathy(middle) were at some kind of bar crawl so we met up with them in Clarendon once again for round two. We drank a bunch of beers and danced around like ass holes until we parted with the ladies only to meet back at IHOP in Ballston. It was a glorious meal of corned beef hash and country fried steak, so actually it was really gross, but chowing late at night has never been better.

We all walked back to Nicole and Blair's apartment where we continued to rage and throw down while the girls were trying to sleep. I proceeded to stick my butt through the sliding glass door and fart a bunch while John buried his face in Lyla's butt and Mike was growling in Nicole's ear...I guess it tickles.

The next morning we woke up late, somehow sleeping through two alarms, and Will missed his train to Baltimore. I was still at least a lot drunk, and Will needed to get to Baltimore to meet his parents for lunch, so we manned up and drove to Baltimore. This was hell, as I got lost on the way back and we got lost at least a few times on the way there, but all in all this was a glorious visit. These are the only 2 pictures I could track down.

Refused Party Program

I actually got The Shape of Punk To Come by Refused a while ago, but forgot to write about it. This blog is turning into more of me talking about banal happenings of my every day life, whatever. When Mike, John, and Will were here we listened to it while we played the Mario Kart Drinking game, which will be described right now. Both album and game are classics:

• Step 1: Plug in the N64/Gamecube/Wii/SNES, and get 4 controllers


• Step 2: Get a lot of crappy beer and 4 pabst(optional) pint glasses


• Step 3(Optional): Play rainbow road once to determine player rankings.


• Step 4: The first place player can fill his/her glass to their desired beer fillage level and choose the next map. Second Player needs to fill his/her glass to any beer fillage level above first place's. Third place player above second place, and fourth place above third. You get it.


• Step 5: When the countdown for the race begins, it goes beep....boop.....BEEEEP and then you can grab your glass and chug beer. Once you finish the beer you can start the race.


• Step 6: Finish the race, and go back to step 4.

Game is great. Tell your friends.

Don't Cook Bacon Without a Shirt On

Yeah man, I think cooking bacon after a night on the town is a bad idea all around. If it were only easier to make. I was trying to think of an easier way to cook it just now, like just as I was typing that first sentence, and I came up with this. OK this isn't actually easier, but it's new. You know those pie irons with the big long handles that you put bread and stuff into and then stick into the coals in a fire? Just throw some bacon into there, it would be really easy to flip, and this is a terrible idea. Nevermind.

Back to the point, the grease spattered all over my shit and it was really painful, and then the bacon got burnt because I was trying to solve the rubiks cube before I had to take the bacon off. I also found this video today, which was pretty dumb but I realized I wasn't cooking my bacon in my cast iron pan which was pretty ass stupid, that's gotta be one of the tastiest things to season the pan with no?

Start second point: I can't stop listening to Margot and the Nuclear So and So's. If you're looking for something to listen to, get "The Dust of Retreat" and "The Daytrotter Sessions" EP. Dust of retreat is really great, grab that, and someone who actually reads this tell Andy about it. Later.